


Do not do this thing that I have done

by Norski



Category: Eddsworld, sinsworld - Fandom
Genre: A big ol mistake, aphrodisiac
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 07:30:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11504637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Norski/pseuds/Norski
Summary: Tom gets an idea, it's not a great idea to slam three high strength aphrodisiacs in jagerbombs(There's no sex, and this is based on a true story. A very, very mistake riddled monday night)





	Do not do this thing that I have done

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a true story - we took science notes and everything. The notes in the fic are almost word for word the ones my friend wrote down.
> 
> I made a mistake, I was the one that drank the jagerbombs and I can confirm it's a bad idea.
> 
> I was in pain.
> 
> Enjoy my suffering
> 
> I wrote this entirely on a shitty tablet there may be typos
> 
> Blz forgive thx

Edd had had a great idea, Matt had agreed it sounded fun and Tom had absolutely no impulse control, and that’s exactly how they found themselves hitting up the local Ann Summers with science, their poor decision, and lack of knowledge on just about anything that looked vaguely like what they needed. Tom dug through the big glass bowl the aphrodisiacs were kept in, frowning at the disgusting amount of pink. He’d have to bite it though, in the same of science.

He spoke to the woman at the front desk, trying not to physically wince at the weird looks he was getting. Two high strength aphrodisiac vials in hand and a snap decision to buy the mini rabbit vibrator at the front desk, he was set. 

“Alright, we just need the Jagermeister and the Red Bull now.” Edd was grinning, Matt was being Matt and Tom was keeping a hold of the easily distracted ginger’s hand while going over his mental shopping list. “We’re writing everything down, right Tom?”

“Yeah, it wouldn’t be science if we didn’t.” 

They shared a nod between them before making their way to the bigger supermarket in the area. After a small issue with ID, they had their booze and energy drink in a plastic bag and wittered on about the possible effects of the interactions between the three items. Matt did more listening than talking, but was the one to point out maybe they should have a word for if it goes wrong.

Icepicks was what was settled on eventually.

Tom sat on the floor, Edd and Matt on the couch, opening the first can of Red Bull.

“What’s the time?”

“Uh, eight sixteen.” Edd scribbled that down while Tom poured half the can into a glass, and added half a vial of aphrodisiac. He threw the Jager in quick and drank the weird concoction just as fast, coughing and shaking his head shortly after.

“Eugh, they have that weird kick to them still.”

“Does it taste bad?” Matt asked, leaning forward on the couch a bit. Tom shook his head.

“Really good actually. I’ll do the next one in… ten minutes?”

Edd set an alarm on his phone, and they talked while they waited. Tom was still pretty much sober. It would take considerably more Jagerbombs than he was going to drink to even get him buzzing.

6:16 pm - second bomb. “How are you feeling?”

“Yep.”

Slight headache

6:29pm - thirsty but won’t get a drink. Stop being an asshole, Tom. Writing skills unimpaired. 

6:36pm -

“Oh.” Tom sat up from laying on the floor, his brows furrowed.

“What’s up? Icepicks?” Edd reached for his phone.

“No. I uh. I didn’t factor in the effects aphrodisiacs have.”

“...What?”

“I forgot that aphrodisiacs have a use.”

Silence for a moment. Edd scribbled more down.

6:36pm - aphrodisiacs starting to work?

6:39pm - third bomb. Reaching stomach capacity? “How are you feeling?”

“YUP.”

Headache increased. Distant feeling of arousal now.

6:44pm - Feeling some regret.

“Four more minutes.” Edd locked his phone, trying not to laugh at Tom, who was looking more and more uncomfortable by the minute. Tom gave a thumbs up, before laying on the ground, face down, and started fucking screaming. Edd and Matt couldn’t help but laugh.

Edd pulled his phone out when it was time for the fourth bomb, recording Tom laying on the ground for a handful of seconds before he sat up and mixed the Jagerbomb - or the dickbomb, as Matt called it before he left to pick up some snacks.

“I don’t want to drink this.” Tom said as he lifted the glass to his lips.

“Then don’t?”

Tom had finished the glass before Edd had even finished speaking. He grumbled a bit, a hand on his stomach.

“Feeling a little sick but that might just be because I’ve downed a lot. This, this was a mistake, I shouldn’t have done this.”

6:48pm - aphrodisiac moderately having intended effect.

6:55pm - significantly improved mood! Wants more aphrodisiac.

“Text Matt to get more.”

“Do it yourself?”

“No.”

Edd sighed, taking his phone out and texting Matt, who simply responded with ‘:|’.

6:57pm - so frustrated he is screaming.

7:00pm - went to piss, was actually just aroused. Still screaming.

7:01 - started pacing. VERY MOIST

Tom was up on his feet now, pacing around the room.

“What are you doing?”

“There’s a reason I was sitting weird.”

“Ah.”

7:16pm - banging back of head on wall. Tingly skin, no specific cause.

7:30pm - sudden increase in arousal. Screaming again.

7:31pm - spacing out a bit

7:32pm - sudden urge to do the macarena??

7:34pm - very warm, fanning self.

7:36pm - “I just wanna fuckin’ party.”

7:39pm - urinating burns, more pacing.

7:45pm - 

“What the fuck I need to piss AGAIN.” Tom whined, laying on his back on the floor, covering his eyes with his hands. The light was way too bright, and he craved death.

7:50pm - 

“Oh dear god kill me.”

“What’s up?” Edd reached for his phone. Looked like Matt was on his way back.

“It feels like my junk is pulsating, dude. Kill me.”

Edd just snorted and wrote that down.

Matt got back not long after that, concerned for a few moments at how loud Tom was yelling, but handed the aphrodisiacs over anyway. Everyone knew nothing was going to stop Tom, not even himself.

8:06pm - had 5th bomb!?

“Tom are you sure about this?”

“Nah.”

“Maybe stop?”

Tom slugged the bomb back.

8:15pm - dexterity reduced, increased spaciness, arousal increased.

8:26pm - 6th bomb.

8:42pm - constant need to piss

8:44pm - drooling??

8:47pm - Matt suggested icecream, we’re going out.

Tom wasn’t sure going out was the best idea, all things considered he was about as horny as a bitch in heat and walking weird, but he wanted icecream. He shifted his weight from foot to foot while he waited for Edd to lock the door, trundling behind a little as they walked. The air was cool and nice on his face, and icecream would help cool him down. Nobody knew what was going on bar the three of them, it’d be fine.

Once inside and seated, he distracted himself best he could by getting hyped over a new icecream waffle, or something or other. The arousal was getting worse, the crotch of his underwear gross already, even after having changed them already, it was getting hard to ignore. 

Getting up to order was a bit of a struggle, but he managed, having to lean on the counter a little while he ordered so he didn’t shake too much. He had made a mistake, he regretted this stupid science experiment, and he had no idea how long it would last for. Fuck, it could last for hours yet, what was he going to do? It kept getting worse.

The waffle was good at least, the milkshake moreso, even if he barely managed to eat any of it.

“You might have to text Tord.” Edd suggested, halfway through his waffle, 

“No.”

“What are you going to do then?”

“Dunno.” Tom nudged the rest of his waffle over to Matt, who gasped happily and dug right in. He barely lasted a few more minutes, his mind wandering to the gutter almost immediately after the suggestion. He started drooling again, ever so slightly, stopping when he felt Edd elbow him grumbling as he was given his phone. “Fine.”

He shot Tord a text, checking every minute or so, ignoring the looks Edd and Matt were giving him. He knew they found it hilarious, and he would be too by the next day, but right then he craved the sweet release of death. 

No response from Tord. It was driving him mad, checking his phone but getting no response was slowly making him lose his shit. He shuffled uncomfortably more and more often, eventually resting his head on the table. Still no response from Tord.

He lifted his head as Edd shook him gently, tensing a little. Being touched was fucking weird when he felt like rutting his cunt against anything that moved.

“Come on, we’ll head back. Did Tord respond?”

“No.”

“You can try his room when we get back.” Matt suggested as they stood to leave. Tom nodded, leaning on the table to stand. He hadn’t had much of it, it tasted great but he was far too distracted. The walk home was worse than the walk there, his underwear was fucking gross and he was half debating sneaking into one of the clubs on the route back to go home with someone.

He would regret it, but he needed _something_.

He made it back without fucking some random gross dude, almost stumbling up the stairs to Tord’s room, Edd following him. He didn’t care if Edd hung around, as long as Tord said yes. He knocked on Tord’s door, waiting for the norski to answer. It takes him a while, and when he does he raises an eyebrow.

“What do you want?”

“I - Edd, explain.”

“No, this is your problem, you explain it.”

Tord reached out and took the milkshake from Tom, taking a few sips while he waited.

“Fine - look. I made a bad decision in the name of science, downed three high strength aphrodisiacs in jagerbombs, and I’m really feeling the effects of it. Are you, yknow. Down to fuck?”

Tord was silent for a second, before throwing his head back and laughing.

“No, but thank you for the milkshake!” With that, the door was promptly slammed, and Tom was down his dignity and a milkshake.

“...Fuck.” Tom whined, Edd giving him a gentle shoulder pat.

“Just go in the shower, dude.”

Tom refused. He joined Matt downstairs, Edd following after him, trying to focus on the tv. He grumbled and shifted every half minute, and eventually Edd half dragged him to his feet, tossed a bottle of lube at him, and told him to just go in the fucking shower.

The walk to his room to grab a vibrator was embarrassing, he knew Tord was laughing his ass off and probably preparing to tell everyone he knew that Tom had showed up at his door like a bitch in heat.

His time in the shower was brief and unsatisfying, but at least it worked. He was sore as fuck, and would be for a while, but that was considerably more pleasant. He joined Edd And Matt on the couch again once he was dry and pulled a pair of boxers on, not looking at either of them.

“Have fun?” Matt asked.

Tom just grumbled.


End file.
